Friday 30 October 2015

That History/This History

If I had to pick the stage of my inquiry that I'm in I would say I was nearing the end of the data collection stage and entering the analysis stage. In a way though, I feel as if the analysis stage began the moment I started this project as I immediately began thinking about and accommodating new knowledge as I acquired it.

My inquiry began as an attempt to map Graham in the UK. It doesn’t seem so much as if that is what it is about anymore. In looking at others’ perceptions of the technique and work of Martha Graham surrounding conversations have begun and recurring themes have emerged. These have included: expectations (ours and others of us), how we think about different types of space, influence of training, categorisation and labelling, internal and external landscape and many more that I have yet to notice. I feel as if many of these ideas are linked together but at the moment I’m not sure how.

In one way or another though, everyone I have spoken to has referred to Martha Graham in a historical context. There seems to be a consensus that Graham is a part of history and that looking ‘at history’ and having knowledge and understanding of it is important to us as dance professionals. Different people have described how they have seen rep, read about or studied the work of graham and it’s importance in the development of American modern/contemporary dance, taken Graham class or learned about her choreographic approach. There are many different ways that people describe how and why this might be important in their experience. At first glance there seems to be a trust and understanding that it is important to know what was then, look at what is now and explore what could be. There seem to be different degrees as to how much people talk about dance history as something to learn about and learn from.

This way of talking about history can seem like it separates us rather than connects us to it. The passing of time and where something sits amongst our own history gives an added sense of closeness to or distance from the thing in question and gives it varying levels of relevance to us. It’s not that we aren’t seeing ourselves as part of dance history, or dance history as part of us, but there are differences between how passively and actively we view it in terms of the moving body.

The last few weeks I have been learning/teaching repertory ‘from the past’ and so use this here as an example. When we learn rep we are in a sense trying to reconstruct something, however we are not learning it then, we are learning it now, this is different, our bodies have new information, different information from the dancers of the time and from each other. If there is a political context for a piece, or emotional aspect we need to convey, the experiences we draw from will often be different from the initial stimulus. As someone recently said to me “we don’t really dance that way anymore.” What does this experience of ‘dancing that way’ do to us now? Is our differing moving history something that separates us or connects us?

We can all have the same experience, but we each view it in a different way. How are we all physically connected through 'doing' history, how could making these links perhaps be useful to us now? Is the past something behind us, another thing we should learn about, or something that still lives in us now and that we should practice? How does physically learning history and putting our body through old and perhaps alien patterns feed back into our current work? How does the this idea of this changing, active, bodily information as history relate to the teaching of a technique that people feel varying levels of distance and closeness to in terms of their own active developing history?

Any thoughts, experiences, reading recommendations?

Thank you for reading! J


Wednesday 28 October 2015

Moving, thinking, talking…blogging?


I didn’t ‘get’ blogging until yesterday, there it is, I said it!  I feel of course that I should have embraced it more fully at this stage in module 3, I know that it’s useful because everyone in the world is doing it but it just didn’t seem like it could be my thing, I’ve done a couple but never felt invested. Whilst I move, think and talk about things as means to muddle through, clarify, sort and edit my ideas I don't like to write things down until I have a clear idea in my head of what I think and what I am going to say. I think this is because I have always though of the essay as a formal way of representing my ideas at the end of something, the thing that comes after, something final. 

Hmmm…. when I dance, I am constantly doing, practicing, editing my movement, I am exploring and working with the language and the medium within which I am immersed. In a technique class there is an ongoing conversation between teacher and learner as we work with different principles and play with possibilities, there is an internal and external conversation within ourselves and with the wider world. A performance may be a formalised expression of the ideas worked with but it will be as a result of what has come before, often a development of ideas rehearsed and adapted, an expression of something and often a way to start or continue a conversation, it will be saying something to take us somewhere.

Today I’ve been thinking harder about writing as a language and tool for conversation. Thank you Adesola and Helen for the talk you gave the first year BA dance students at Middlesex University yesterday. Although it perhaps wasn't new information (or shouldn’t have been) to me, it sparked this train of thought and took me back to a place where I could reevaluate how I think about writing amongst my other dance practice. Thank you also Adesola for the blog you posted in week three, I only just read it, so I guess I am very guilty of the behaviour and patterns module 3 can sometimes lead us in to!

I’ve said it so many times before, I love reading, I love learning but I really don’t enjoy writing. I think I’m bad at it and struggle to see the 'me' within an essay when it’s ‘finished’. Writing in my reflective diary has helped a great deal with my actually getting used to writing regularly but it's only a conversation with myself not with other people, there's no reach in the conversation and it's through these connections and experiences with others that find meaning and develop. With a blog though I feel anxious putting writing out there as a thought in process and worry a lot about how people will respond or whether they will respond. I go back into my old thinking pattern of maybe that was wrong? Maybe it didn't make sense or wasn't good enough to say? Maybe I’m way too late getting the point and everyone else got this a year ago so I should just keep quiet?! Do other people feel this way too?

Until now I don’t think I’ve been looking at writing as dynamic in the way that I do with moving, thinking and talking, the writing in form of blog or essay has been the other thing that should be done instead of being woven in amongst my other modes of doing. Through the experience of practicing it, putting my ideas out there then maybe I will have a better grasp of how to get my writing to be a natural evolution of my practice and a language with which I am comfortable using to put across these thoughts and ideas. Maybe I can think about this differently, if I use blogging and responding to other peoples posts in a more connected way, to practice communicating my ideas throughout all stages of my inquiry in this way, this will potentially lead me more naturally towards the more formal critical review ‘at the end’ where these developed ideas will need to be more structured, organised and thought through. 

I think what I’m really saying then is…Dear blogasphere, MAPP community, world of writing, it wasn’t you it was me! I think I might be more ready to share now so please can we try again?!

Another post to follow very shortly, I've already started writing it…